Broken

"My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;  a broken and contrite heart..."

                                             Psalms 51:17

Day one

     I have been meaning to start this blog for months.  But today is the day. 
It has been a very challenging week and one of the best freinds I ever had will have her
body laid to rest on Friday because her wonderful spirit has gone to be with the Lord. 

     Was she sick, you ask?  No.  Did we have any idea?  No.  It was was just sudden and unexpected and though it has been almost a week since I have found out, I am still completely and profoundly broken hearted.  
     Do I rejoice for her, you ask?  At least a hundred times a day...  But I miss my freind.

    I have been thinking about her a lot this last week and oh how she loved Jesus.  We had long conversations about what we could gather about heaven.  About this gift of life that He has given us.  
She knew I was going to start this blog and she asked me to let her know when I started it.  
Well, my dear friend, I am starting it today, but I am guessing you have much better reading material where you are.  
     I feel broken today.  Helpless.  Things have changed and there is a hole in my life, just the size of her freindship.  No more, no less.  Just her size.  I haven't written lately because I started a full time job and it has been busy.  But isn't it funny how it is after midnight and suddenly it is a priority again?  
     There is something beautiful about being broken.  In the times I am broken, I pursue Jesus like I have never before.  I am in prayer all day. I am searching for answers in His word.  I am longing to get lost in praise.  And God always shows His face. He is beyond graceful to his children in need.  And then I suddenly feel my broken heart.  I feel my contrite heart, which means a heart that is sorry for my sins.  My life seems to all of a sudden feel like the village beneath four dams, one in every direction.  The people of the village live there and never speak of the possibility that at any time one of the dams may break and then the whole village will be under water!   But when there is a leak in one of the dams, when it is broken, then, it is time for prayer and action!  Our lives are the same way.  We can just keep going as long as we are making it, until something happens and the dam begins to leak.  
Someone is seriously ill.  Someone gets hurt.  Someone dies suddenly.  Then all of a sudden we dare to look up and realize, we are living in the village below all the dams and then we begin pray again.  We pray and we seek.  We suddenly have time for longer prayer. Time for scripture.  Time for study.  Being broken has many benefits.  And that is what I am going to blog about for the next 22 days.  But today, just know, that no matter how good things look and how much you think you don't need God, you are living in the village my freind.  There are cracks everywhere.  But you have connections... 
MJ

Dear Lord, 
Help this study to reach every single person you want it to reach.  Help me to walk through this broken  period of my life and praise you in this storm.  Help me to grow in my trust and my faith to flourish in the midst of this time. With Love and praise,   Me.    Amen